So you’ve been spending a lot of time with someone but there’s no definite label to your relationship. You’re not quite dating but it feels like more than just a platonic friendship…. Well, then you’re in a “situationship.” This is the new norm with millennials these days.
The evolution of dating and situationships
In this day in age, dating has evolved somewhat, and it’s not what it used to be 20, 30, 40, or 50 years ago. Back in the day, a boy would woo a girl, and make his intentions known. An official date indicated their interest in each other and the next progression would be him asking her to be his girlfriend. The process of dating was pretty clear-cut and both parties knew exactly where they stood. These days that doesn’t quite happen in most cases. You meet a guy, you start spending more and more time together, go to the movies, meet for coffee, and go out for dinners. Yet there are no definite, clear intentions on either part, but you do know that there’s a kind of unspoken understanding that neither one of you will be spending time with anyone else. In other words, your relationship status is not quite “in a relationship” but you’re not quite single either. That means you’re in a “situationship.”
Neither one of you is ready to ask that daunting question
At this point, you’re really enjoying your time spent together and can see things are progressing. But neither one of you is quite ready to ask that all-important question: “Am I your girlfriend/boyfriend?” So instead of being clear from the get-go, you both continue on this undefined and uncertain kind of relationship. This could go on for months or even years. There may be several reasons why you’re stuck in a “situationship.” You may be completely content with things the way they are, and that’s why the topic is never brought up. Maybe you’re just waiting for him to take the first step in addressing your relationship status. Or maybe you would love nothing more than to be in a committed relationship with him but are too scared that the feelings are not reciprocated. Whatever the reason, you find yourself in limbo.
Pros and cons of a situationship
Like with any romantic relationship, there are positives as well as negatives to being in a situationship. The positive would be that because there’s no definite relationship label, one or both parties may feel less pressure to please and perform to prove themselves worthy. That way they can be more themselves and explore the relationship more openly. A negative could be that because there isn’t a sure commitment, it could lead to one party feeling insecure, possibly frustrated with the uncertainty of it all and maybe even feel a sense of confusion. In most cases, one person ends up developing stronger feelings for the other. Surely this cannot be a good foundation for a relationship.
If you’re both on the same page and you’re fully aware of the situation and still choose to remain this way, then that’s fantastic. Enjoy each other and whatever the future holds. However, if you feel trapped in a situationship and you want more clarity regarding where you stand, then it’s best to discuss it openly and see where that leads you. Identify what you want and go after it!