How to know when something’s outside your control

Being in control is something that everyone strives for because it can give you a sense of comfort and security. This is because if you’re in control you’re able to guide the outcome and hence there’s no uncertainty or variables that can affect it. The reality in life is that you cannot control absolutely everything, and life has a way of showing you that you have no control. If that’s the case, what can you do about that which you have no control over?

What can you control?

Before anything, we need to learn to identify what we can and cannot control. If something is giving you sleepless nights, and you find yourself constantly worrying about it, take time to examine the situation. What variables are you able to control, if any? The only variable that you’re always guaranteed to have control over every single time is you, your reaction, and your behavior. You’re more likely to get your desired result by recognizing this and putting all your energy on that which you can control and not try and gain control of that which is out of your control. No matter how hard you try you cannot control others’ emotions, you cannot change your spouse, and you cannot prevent bad ( or good) things from happening. People that refuse to accept the fact that they can’t control everything end up becoming either compulsive worriers or control freaks. Control freaks believe that if they can get enough control over a situation they can prevent bad situations. A compulsive worrier will worry unnecessarily about absolutely everything. They think that by identifying everything that could possibly go wrong will, in fact, prevent them from happening. Either way, it’s not healthy to be a control freak or a compulsive worrier.

Positive influence over forcefulness

You need to accept that you cannot force things to go the way you want, but you can definitely try to positively influence others. You can achieve this depending on your behavior, and what you choose to focus on. By being supportive instead of controlling, and showing genuine interest in others’ opinions and thoughts instead of trying to change them, you are already making progress. Accept that you cannot change the way someone thinks, acts, and you can’t change the choices they make. The best thing you can do is share your concerns if you don’t agree and let it go, let them make the decision themselves after that.

Accept that you cannot control everything

Once you’re able to accept that you cannot control everything around you, it’ll make your life easier. You’ll know that by simply changing your approach you can achieve far more than you would if you were trying to control it all. Some things have never been and never will be under your control and that’s alright.

Realizing that the only factors you have full control of is how you feel, think, and react in every situation will help you accept that you can’t control everything. Strive to put this into practice in every scenario as it will help create a positive pattern for all other future situations that you may be faced with. The more you practice, the easier it will become to change your mindset and let things go. It’s not always a bad thing to not be in control of everything, it just means there’s less pressure on you.